# 42 (dating vs. courting)

Someone asked me about my views on the whole dating vs. courtship question. I must admit my views on the whole thing would really get me some scoldings from certain people and looks of horror from others. Personally, I am not a fan of the whole set of connotations that go with either label.

Courtship often brings to mind horrific images of your parents picking out your husband, your entire family coming on dates with you, and not even being able to hug each other let alone kiss. With dating you think of one-on-one dates, serial polygamy, pre-marital sex and a host of other negatives. That said, I do think that each has positives. I am not sure what your definition of dating and courtship is. I don't really even think I know what my definitions of those words are, so rather than compare and contrast these two spouse-finding techniques, I shall tell you what I am doing/plan on doing.

I am 17 years old, very nearly 18. I've never been on a date. That is not to say I've never been asked, flirted with, et cetera, just to say that I have never said yes. I personally do not feel like I am ready to date. I so often feel like a little kid, not someone that is ready to get into a relationship least of all one that could result in marriage! Yes, you read that correctly. I think that you can date, yet still enter a relationship that leads to a strong marriage.

First of all, I think that you should get to know someone BEFORE you date them. By getting to know them I mean becoming a friend, learning about their family, getting to know what kind of person they are--not just what kind of cell phone they have. Getting to know the person before-hand allows you to know if they are even someone with whom you would ever desire to enter a relationship that could be more than friendly.

You should be open and talk about physical and emotional boundaries. Be frank about how far you're willing to go when it comes to hugs, holding hands, or kissing. Going out with mutual friends and each others families should be mixed in with one-on-one dates.

I guess the easiest way for me to explain my view would be to tell you how I plan on dating.

I'll wait until I feel ready. Both spiritually and emotionally. I won't date any guy that asks me out. I want to get to know him and see if we can even be friends for starters. I want my entire family to get to know him, and I wanna get to know his family. I wanna ask my momma for advice, if she thinks that he is any good for me. I will ask God about our relationship, listen to Him for His answers. I will only date a someone who believes as I do, that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and died for our sins. I'll keep physical closeness to a minimum. Of course, I will wait for God to bring such into my life. I don't want to mess around with my emotions by seeking and wanting that which is not in His plan for me.

I'm so crazy confused on this subject. I probably made a muddle of this post. I hope I made my opinions almost clear. If you have any questions, please do ask me, as I would love to clarify anything for you. I love to hear from my readers.

God bless.

~Riah