#25 (Bullying)

Please Stop Laughing At Me... by Jodee Blanco is a truly heartbreaking and inspiring story of a young woman fighting who she is in order to become accepted, yet always reverting back to who she truly is. This book will make you tremble with rage, cry tears of veritable sorrow, and finally lift your chin in triumph.

I've read this book 3 times now, and ever single time I read this story, it effects me greatly. The first time I read this book I was about 13 or so. The second time I read it was 2 years later when I was 15 years old. I remember it because we were living in Mauritania. Here I am 17 years old reading it for the third time. Never before has this book shook me as it is now. I've never shaken with rage. Tears have never leaked from my eyes so freely. Whenever I pause to reflect on it all my body is consumed by goosebumps.

I'm not sure what I am trying to say. I am not really sure what my point in all of this is. I think that if I could get even one person to read this book though, I would feel as though I had accomplished something. That's how important this is to me.

Bullying. The effects it has on people. The way it ruins and demolishes lives. Yet, those who bully never realize the effect they're having on people. They don't realize that what they say, how they act is shaping the life of the person upon whom they take out their insecurities... It is pathetic.

People say, "Kids will be kids," yet there is such an immense impact, that is so much more than that. Children being children, kids being kids--it should be people not feeling they need to be 17 after they turn 7. It should be the ability to make a few stupid mistakes and learn from them. Never should children being children mean that young people prey upon those that are weaker than they. Verbal, emotional, physical bullying is not 'kids being kids', it is cruel torture.

There are few things that anger me as much as bullies. People who are bigger, stronger, smarter, or just plain meaner pushing around those that are smaller, weaker, dumber, different. I do not care if they 'don't understand'. Just because you do not understand something is not excuse to rip it apart, shun it. It makes me almost shake with rage. I've known a few bullies. None that were ever a cruel as the ones mentioned in this book, but bullies all the same. I've defended people. I've even been bullied a bit myself. I'm sure that someone smarter than I am could explain it all to me. There is prolly some deep-rooted reason that bullies anger me so. I do not really care what it is. All I know is that I am thankful, so thankful, that God has blessed me with a strength to not only defend myself but those weaker than I. I pray that God will give me the courage to stand up for myself, as well as others, as the time comes... As it gets harder to do so.

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"I've been blessed. Despite getting knocked down so many times, God keeps putting people in my corner at just the right time who give me courage and strength to come out for one more round. Often the opponent isn't another fighter, but my own self-doubt. Though sometimes it feels like I'm alone in the ring, I know now that's an illusion. In the movie Rocky with Sylvester Stallone, no matter how badly Rocky gets hurt, he always has Mick (played by Burgess Meredith), believing in him. I have lots of Micks in my life--my parents and family, Annie and her crowd, my friends in Santorini, and caring adults such as Ms. Linstrom and Heleni.
"I think about other outcasts, like Noreen, who don't have that kind of suppoert. I wish I could help them. Their lives revolve around high-school, but they need to realize that we'll graduate soon and the wounds we've sustained at the hands of our classmates will eventually heal and become scars.
" When I asked Dr. Kalen about the human body's healing process, he told me that scar tissue is much stronger than regular skin. I believe the same is true of the human spirit."

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"When you're a victim of any kind of abuse you can do one of two things. You ca learn how to turn your pain into purpose and make a difference in the world or you can allow it to extinguish the light inside you. If you permit the latter, you are sacrificing far more than your childhood to the cruel gods of popularity."

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So, I guess... I dunno what my point is. I dunno if I should even bother posting my ramblings. Arg. Mebbe I will. Mebbe someone'll read this book, have an epiphany and... I dunno what. =P Hopefully I didn't make anyone too worried about my mental health. I also hope I made even a jot of sense. Hehe.

~Mariah