# 19 (Who are you?)

Who are you? What defines you?

I am Mariah. I am a child of God. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend. My thoughts, dreams, passions, dislikes, family, friends, morals, clothes, fears, and even my musical tastes are all things that define who I am.

If you could, would you change something about yourself? What would you change? If you could go back in time and do something different, would you? What would you do differently?

Before you answer those questions, I wanna say something. Who we are is, more than anything, defined by the decisions we make. The choices we choose make us who we are.

You make big decisions. What college to go to, what job to take, which home to buy, and who to marry. Obvious choices such as what book to read, what salad dressing to east, what shoes to wear. Those sneaky "decisions" that barely seem like a choice. Who you say "hi" to, the reactions you have to people, the friends you choose.

All of these choices define who we are. What kinda of person we are. The choices we make, the reactions that result, the lessons that are learned... They make us... Us.

So, I ask you again...

Who are you? Would you change anything about yourself? Would you go back in time to do anything differently?

I know that I am Mariah. That I am just who God wanted me to be. Personally, I wouldn't change who I am. I wouldn't go back to do anything differently. "Some pages turned, some bridges burned, but they were lessons learned." All that I go through, all the lessons I learn are making me who God wants me to be. They are preparing me for what He wants me to do.

I'm not really sure what possessed me to write this, but I know I was up for an hour last night at 3 AM doing so. I'm not sure... What exactly the point of this is besides that I do not think that anyone should change who they are. Or at least not unless they choose it.

Sure, I would have loved to have green eyes, and be a little tiny bit taller. I wouldn't mind being better at math, and being less of a literal thinker. It'd be great if I could be as selfless as my sister Grace, as smart as my brother Jake, as funny as Emma, as sweet as Mike, or as fierce as Isabelle. But if I were any of those things then I wouldn't be me. I wouldn't be perfect for whatever God has planned for me. If I hadn't screwed up certain things in my life, I wouldn't be able to help people who'd gone through the same things I had. I trust that no matter what, God can and will use me for something, which is why I'd never go back to do something differently thus changing who I am.

"I am Rosemary's granddaughter, the spitting image of my father, and when the day is done my mama's still my biggest fan. I am clueless and I'm clumsy, but I've got friends that love me and they know just where I stand. That's all a part of me. And that's who I am."