# 16 (Growing up)

So. It is exactly 1432. I am here. At my sister's desk on her computer. I am awake, alive, and so at peace. =)

I was sorta thinking though. I mean about growing up. I've decided that is kinda sucks & I don't really wanna do it & I would like to be Peter Pan when I grow up.

I've already done a pretty good job at avoidance. I turn 17 in March and I don't have my license, or my learner's permit. The only job I've had is that of a youth umpire. I'm still workin' through high-school, not even taking college classes. To say the least I a maybe a wee bit behind. =/

But a friend of mine helped me out a while ago. He told me a story... A nice one with a moral and everything. ^_^ He also gave me the smack I needed.

So. I made a plan. I know what I need to do. I pretty much gave my own self a pep talk (And can I just say it was a very good one? I am a good pep-talker. =D)

A less private version on my pep talk goes like this:

"Okay, Self. We need to talk. Now, know that I love you, and I'm only looking out for your best interests. Also I can tell that I need to remind you that God loves you too. He has a plan for you. He is there for you no matter what. He is there to guide you. All you need to do, Self, is listen to Him. Have faith in Him. Trust in Him. It doesn't sound all that difficult, but I know that this is one of those many things that is easier said than done. You're not alone, Self. Not only is God with you but you've got some super amazing, and gorgeous friends that are there for you--maybe even going through the same things you are. So get over yourself, girl. Hop to it, get to work! You're not sleeping in and you're not awake. All you are doing is sleepwalking which is more pathetic than just straight up sleeping in, anyways! You can do it, God will help you."

Anyways... Yeah. About the sleeping in thing. There is this song called "Sleeping In" by a group called Nevertheless. It is a pretty good song to describe me and how I am behaving right now.

I've been sleeping in for days//'Cause when I am awake//I will have to face my life//And it's got me sleeping in//Every day God, it's the same thing//Yeah, you caught me sleeping in//I'm still hiding; I'm still waiting//I need you here with me to face the world outside//Cause I'm tired of sleeping in.

So yeah... I am not quite sleeping in... More sleepwalking. I am trying to be face my life and the world yet I am not doing it face on. If you're not going to do something 100% it is just kinda pointless. Especially when it comes down to life. =P So, I was praying and reading my Bible and thinking. God is really with me today. He made Himself known to me. Yesterday when I ripped of Friday's Bible verse I didn't really read Saturday/Sunday's. Well... Today I did. The verse that I read struck me. It was just what I am going through, having trouble with, and God showed it to me today. =)

Jeremiah 6:16

This is what the LORD says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.

So anyways. That is really all I had to say. This is kinda why I have been like... Not posting very much. Why I've been in a foul mood. This is my current struggle, sad as it may be. =P *sigh* Okay. I'm out. I need some food. And I think I'll go on a nice walk with my sister and my dog. Laters, peeps.

~Riah